Šta bi koji metalac uradio da se nađe u situaciji ...

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Gavrijel
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Šta bi koji metalac uradio da se nađe u situaciji ...

Post by Gavrijel » March 9th, 2010, 3:23 am

Ovo mi je bivši gitarista malopre poslao, odavno se nisam ovako ismejao, dakle :

"Šta bi koji metalac uradio da se nađe u situaciji da mora da spasi
princezu i ubije zmaja ?


POWER METALAC dolazi jašuci belog jednoroga, ubija zmaja magičnim
mačem, spasi princezu i oni vode ljubav u začaranoj šumi.


HEAVY METALAC dolazi na Harley Davidsonu, ubija zmaja, popije pivo i
kresne princezu.


THRASH METALAC dolazi, potuče zmaja, spasi princezu i odjebe je…

FOLK METALAC dolazi sa prijateljima svirajući harmonike, violine,
flaute i još puno uvrnutih instrumenata, zmaj se uspava (umoran od
plesanja), onda sedaju za sto, sviraju i pevaju, a princeza igra na
stolu.


VIKING METALAC dolazi na drakaru, ubija zmaja velikom sekirom, siluje
princezu do smrti, opljačka zamak i spali mesto pre odlaska.


DEATH METALAC dolazi, ubija zmaja, jebe princezu i ubija je, zatim odlazi.


GRIND METALAC dolazi, dolazi, ubija zmaja, ubija princezu, jebe je,
zatim odlazi.


BLACK METALAC dolazi u ponoc, ubija zmaja i natiče ga na kolac ispred
zamka… zatim sodomizira princezu, ispija njenu krv u ritualu pre nego
što je ubije…

GORE METALAC dolazi, ubija zmaja i razapinje njegovu utrobu ispred
zamka, jebe princezu i ubija je… zatim ponovo jebe njen leš, raseče
njen stomak i pojede utrobu, jebe njenu mrcinu po treći put, spali
truplo i drka nad pepelom.


GOTHIC METALAC dolazi, vidi zmaja, zaljubi se u njega zbog besmrtne
moći koju ovaj poseduje, i iz očaja sto ga zmaj odbija seče vene i
uživa gledajući kako mu ističe krv.


DOOM METALAC dolazi, vidi veličinu zmaja i pomisli da ga nikada neće
pobediti, pada u depresiju i izvršava samoubistvo…
Zmaj pojede njegov leš i princezu zajedno.


PROGRESSIVE METALAC dolazi sa gitarom i svira solo od 26 minuta, zmaj
se ubija od muke, protagonist odlazi u princezinu spavaću sobu, svira
još jedan solo sa svom tehnikom koju je naučio na zadnjoj godini
konzervatorijuma… princeza beži, i sada traži "HEAVY METAL"
protagonistu.


GLAMER dolazi, zmaj se smeje njegovoj pojavi i pušta ga da uđe,
protagonist krade princezinu šminku i bezi napolje.


NEW METALAC biva ubijen zbog pozerstva od strane ostalih pre nego što
i stigne do zamka.


INDUSTRIAL METALAC se pojavljuje u blještećem kaputu, pravi
nepristojne gestove pred zmajem, vređa princezu i biva izbačen od
obezbeđenja..."
:heavy: :heavy: :heavy: :heavy:
I see faith in your eyes
Never you hear the discouraging lies
I hear faith in your cries
Broken is the promise, betrayal
The healing hand held back by the deepened nail
Follow the god that failed
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Re: Šta bi koji metalac uradio da se nađe u situaciji ...

Post by Lazza » March 9th, 2010, 11:19 am

hahahaha :D mocno :heavy:
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Re: Šta bi koji metalac uradio da se nađe u situaciji ...

Post by hammer » March 9th, 2010, 4:39 pm

staro ali uvek dobro :)
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Re: Šta bi koji metalac uradio da se nađe u situaciji ...

Post by brainsaladsandar » March 9th, 2010, 5:14 pm

odlično lol
http://www.burning-circle.com
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Re: Šta bi koji metalac uradio da se nađe u situaciji ...

Post by markojah » March 9th, 2010, 5:27 pm

nisam video pre......hahaha
Jedina vrlina kojom se covek ne moze pohvaliti jeste skromnost. Kad bi se njome pohvalio, vise ne bi bio skroman.
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Re: Šta bi koji metalac uradio da se nađe u situaciji ...

Post by Chupavi_marko » March 9th, 2010, 6:10 pm

dobro je.. samo je mnogo bolje na engleskom
* POWER METAL
The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon, saves the princess and makes love to her in an enchanted forest.

* THRASH METAL
The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princess and fucks her.

* HEAVY METAL
The protagonist arrives on a Harley, kills the dragon, drinks a few
beers and fucks the princess.

* FOLK METAL
The protagonist arrives with some friends playing acordions, violins, flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls asleep (because of all the dancing). Then they all leave........ without the princess.

* VIKING METAL
The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his mighty axe, skins the dragon and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals her belongings and burns the castle before leaving.

* DEATH METAL
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the princess and kills her, then leaves.

* BLACK METAL
The protagonist arrives at midnight, kills the dragon and impales it in front of the castle. Then he sodomizes the princess, drinks her blood in a ritual before killing her. Then he impales the princess next to the dragon.

* GORE METAL
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his guts in front of the castle, fucks the princess and kills her. Then he fucks the dead body again, slashes her belly and eats her guts. Then he fucks the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and fucks it for the last time.

* GRIND METAL
The protagonist arrives, screams something completely undecipherable for about 2 minutes and then leaves...

* DOOM METAL
The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks he could never beat him, then he gets depressed and commits suicide. The dragon eats his body and the princess as dessert. Thats the end of the sad story.

* GOTHIC METAL
The princess in a velvet costume starts singing soprano. The protagonist completes the duet by adding the beast part, while the dragon plays the flute. Suddenly he swallows up the pipe and accidently scorches the beauty and the beast and suffocates to death. All their souls are damned in hell's eternity.

* PROGRESSIVE METAL
The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of 26 minutes. The dragon kills himself out of boredom. The protagonist arrives to the princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques and tunes he learned in the last year of the conservatory. The princess escapes looking for the HEAVY METAL protagonist.

* INDUSTRIAL METAL
The protagonist arrives wearing greasy overcoat, makes obscene gestures towards dragon, and gets escorted out of fairy tale land by security guards.

* SPEED METAL
Suddenly there, short solo, dragon is confused, someone's screaming weird stuff, princess realizes she's been deflowered, dragon and princess are still looking for the one who did this.

* CHRISTIAN METAL
The protagonist rides in on his way home from church and sings a mushy power ballad to the dragon about how much Jesus loves him and that the dragon should turn to Him. The Dragon is immediately converted, and when the princess wants to thank the protagonist he replies, "Sorry, but I don't believe in having sex before marriage."

* GLAM METAL
The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy's appearance and lets him enter. He steals the princess' make up and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink colour.

* BATTLE METAL
The protagonist arrives with a legion of a hundred brave footmen, war chariots and a dozen elite warriors and, as a master tactician, flanks the dragon in a bloody siege that lasts six hours. The princess gets bored.

* NU METAL
The protagonist arrives in a run down Honda Civic and attempts to fight the dragon but he burns to death when his moronic baggy clothes catch fire.

* EMO
The protagonist sees the dragon and moans about how hard it will be to get the princess to fall in love with him. He gets eaten. The princess is very happy, because he was a whiny dork anyway.

* GRUNGE
The protagonist doesn't get eaten by the dragon because he stinks too much from not washing his hair in months. The princess won't go near him either, and he ends up dying on the town hall steps with the other grungers due to the over consumption of white cider.

* POP-PUNK
The dragon can't eat the protagonist because he can't catch him because he keeps bouncing up and down. The princess won't fuck him either, because he likes ska.
svet u koloru!
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